Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
