nut hugger
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just googled if crying burns calories
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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