he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
