Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
