Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
