If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
