i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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