Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
