They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
