We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
