Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
