C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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