i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
