butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
