super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
