Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
