What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
