We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
