I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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