So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
