On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
