16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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