terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
