that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
