it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
