okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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