so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have aggressive nipples.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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