All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
