i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
