O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
