just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
