I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
