She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
