Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
How's work?
Spinning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
