Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
