1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
