his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
