hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
