my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
