one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
