if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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