I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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