Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Randomize
