i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
