the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
