So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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