Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
