I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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