Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
