I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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