Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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