OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
